Storm Offer Job to All-Time Home Run King; Barry Bonds

The Lake Elsinore Storm have officially offered employment to Barry Lamar Bonds. The former San Francisco Giants left fielder has been searching far and wide this off-season for a new team culminating in an investigation by the players union into the lack of interest in Major League Baseball’s Home Run King. The Storm offer includes a cushy Media Relations position (with slight pay cut from $19.3 million), full use of baseball facilities and of course expanded cubicle space with barcalounger and plasma TV. “We just think the way he has handled the media with such grace over the years that he would be a perfect fit in our media relations department,” said Chris Jones, Storm General Manager.

Bonds is currently residing in his Bel Air estate and training in Los Angeles a short drive from The Diamond in Lake Elsinore. With a newly renovated Diamond Club Restaurant and a permanent parking space already reserved for ESPN “reporter” Pedro Gomez, the Storm offer a perfect location for a press conference to re-launch his big league career.

Lake Elsinore also has a brand new playing surface with evapotransporation technology which Barry will have full use of as well. “He’s in playing shape right now. He just hasn’t hit off live pitching,” Bonds’ agent, Jeff Borris, said Tuesday. “I’ve had conversations with Barry. It would probably take him about two weeks to get ready.” Lake Elsinore has a 27 person front office, plenty of arms for two weeks of live batting practice.